“I think, therefore I am”

For the last eight years I have been fibbing and deceiving myself into considering the pleasures of virtual life. Often leading to self-loathing and despair, I already knew I was addicted to the most fundamental of human emotion, dejection. I inflicted melancholic subjugations upon myself and this habit of unscrupulous and temporary inclination very well led to the extinction of hedonistic dogmas that as a human being everyone is naturally disposed to.  But how wrong can anyone be, such disavowal of materialistic tendencies can itself lead to the regeneration and what more, powerful, uncontainable and addictive deviations in both behavior and cognition. I still find myself into that same immaculate speck of fiasco from which I was running away and as fate would have it I did a vicious circle of self-indulgence and ended in the same predicament.  “Do you believe in fate, Neo?” No. “Why not?”, “Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life”.  My nonchalant attitude does very little to undermine the enslavement of my faded self that I desire so much, a futile cause. The desirable shall loose its worth once it has been attained and so are our lives identical to the heroics and arrogance of Sisyphus.  After all cogito, ergo sum.

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