Narcissistic Opinions #1.0- Chuck Lorre Inspired

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Today, I took a leak. Where? It’s kind of weird when I think about it now but it was the best idea of that moment, an epiphany indeed.  Now I am being accused of debauchery and witchcraft, some people even argued that I couldn’t be saved in all my eternity, gods and their cliques, poor bastards! whoever couldn’t be saved, maybe it would be better not saving the human population at all. To my concern now-I took a leak, inside a temple on a god. To add to this statement, it was a divine sensation. What could I do? I did what I had to do, zip down and thrust my linga out and relieve myself of embarrassment because truth be told, I couldn’t have hold it any longer.  Let’s face it peeing on my pants in public wasn’t much in my agenda and if gods be willing they can still save me. Please gods don’t send me to hell after I die and sincerely please don’t kill me precociously. These are the times of predicament when I think about god, everybody’s favorite  Mahadeva.  I mean, why can’t all gods be so cool like him. As far as I know he the coolest god ever. Look at him, unkempt, untidy, ashes all over his body, wears a snake around his neck like he’s adorning a piece of jewellery and what more, he does weed, great isn’t he? But, here’s the awesome part- people worship his dick. What more can a god want, I bet even Charlie Sheen’s diehard fans are converted. Oh Mahadeva, save me for I have sinned. Om Namah Shivaya.

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